We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
