Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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