tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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