All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
