i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
