i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize