she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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