Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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