I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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