Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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