He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
