Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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