theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
