I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
