Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize