I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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