i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
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I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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