I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize