dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
