What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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