what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
