is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
