I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
