this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
