Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize