What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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