I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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