I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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