She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
