No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
