I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
