so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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