You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize