Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize