well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
