I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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