about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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