were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
