My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
