I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
