i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
