I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
