just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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