I think I am morally bankrupt
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
