nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
