it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Come on in and take your pants off
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
