You made me cry and you don't even care
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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