i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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