Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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