it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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