low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
