she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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