Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
