sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
