is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
