Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
