This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
