I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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